Have you ever felt like there is something between you and God? Have you ever felt a block?
Me too.
There have been countless times that I have prayed and felt like I was speaking to a wall. I remember incidents where I felt I was completely alone. I wanted to be near Him. I wanted to hear His voice, but to no avail. Even in tears I have felt so far from Him and couldn’t seem to get closer.
Then there are times where I feel like He is sitting right next to me and I am overwhelmed to the point of worship. I have been in grocery stores and in my car when suddenly I am trembling before the creator of all the Heavens and Earth.
Why is that?
What is this wall that we experience?
Though there have been many reasons for that feeling, there is a pattern in my life that has been constant and has proven to be a wall between me and God.
Maybe you can relate to this post. Maybe you can’t, but I believe you and I should heed to this important lesson I have learned over the years… and, to be frank, am still learning.
Many years ago I met a man on the street of Atlanta. He was clearly not living a life dedicated to the Lord yet he professed to me over and over that God and himself were close. He was quite possibly the most haughty man I had encountered at this point in my life. He told me that they talked daily and God was okay with his life. I told Him that He didn’t know God (in a much kinder way) and prayed for him per request. I left him that day and went about my business.
Not more than an hour later, the man had found me at the Atlanta Dream Center crying and asking for help. He said, “God spoke to me. He spoke to me just after we departed ways and it was the clearest I have ever heard him. He told me I didn’t know Him”.
I was blown away by this. The man was being asked by God to give up his life (every. single. part.) and the man wanted be secure that he was with God, so he asked me to pray for him. As I started praying with him I saw his haughtiness return and he ran off (literally) from me. I chased him, foolishly, and he pulled out a pipe, took a hit of crack cocaine and blew into my face.
I have to admit, I was ticked off. I was mad that this man decided that he no longer wanted to give his life to God. I was confused. Why did God speak to Him but then not intervene?
I understood the man wasn’t ready to give up his life. He still wanted what he thought was best and wasn’t willing to trade it off for what God thought was best. But why did God call him if he wasn’t willing?
I was troubled by this incident until I read in the book of Peter a fascinating verse. A verse that is equally terrifying as is relieving. It says, “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.“
Phew. This verse is heavy.
“God resists the proud.” It doesn’t say, “God gets annoyed at the proud”. Nor does it say, “God hates the proud.”. It says God resists. That means pushes against. When you have pride in your life it says God will resist you. It means the things of God will not be for you. Isn’t that terrifying?
I am instantly reminded of Isaiah 14 when satan falls from heaven. He is cast out because of his haughtiness.
Back to the title of this blog, my biggest wall in my life (and I believe the biggest wall in that mans life) is my pride. But unlike lying or stealing, pride is much more tricky. It is a monster. A monster that can preach and teach. This monster can build people up with words. It can tear people down. Pride can give to the poor and in the same breath rob. It is the sin that can hide behind compliments and gossips. Pride can fast day and night and it can pray. Pride is by far the most cunning. And if we are not careful it can sneak into every part of your life without you even recognizing it.
Most often times I find that the wall in my relationship with God isn’t anything other than I have a proud heart, and to tear down that wall I have to have humility.
When I feel that wall in my life, the first thing I do is I ask God that He would humble me in every part of my life. Because for those who are humble, He says He gives them grace. Grace to be with Him. The same grace that allows us to boldly enter into His chambers. The other side of that terrifying scripture is that He gives us grace if we are humble.
Do you feel a separation from God? Do you feel like there is a wall in your life? Ask Him to humble you. Ask Him to reveal the truth about Himself to you and also show you the truth about yourself!
Every time I feel a distance and I seek out humility, I find myself close to Him. Can I encourage you? You don’t have to have a wall between you and Jesus. He intends for you to be close. Ask for humility today and let’s, together, be close to our God.
-Tommy